Friday, August 22, 2008

Weekly Weight Loss Check In 8-22


I'm late this week. Due to Hurricane/Tropical Storm Fay, I've had other things on my mind lately! LOL

Well, we're at a stand still right now. Walking was OUT this week with the wind & rain, but I managed to remain at 148!! Yay me!! Stress makes me eat, so I did well there. AND....I haven't had one salad! Been eating lots of veggies, but no salad. The dressing kills me. I LOVElovelove Bleu Cheese! Highest in carbs & calories! I have been eating more fruit, too. I'd forgotten how much I like fruit. Guess I stopped eating it when we cut back on expenses, fruit can be a premium.

Back to the regular routine next week.

Fay has passed us without much damage or rain. Now it's mostly wind. She is headed out into the Gulf to restrengthen - geez! Thanks for all your prayers during this storm, they worked!!!

Will check back in next Wednesday with another update. Thanks so very much to all my friends for the encouragement!!!

D :)

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Weekly Weight Loss 8-16-08

Well, last week I went back to my diet / exercise plan from a year ago. I weighed 155 pounds on Wednesday the 6th(Weigh in Wednesday). On the 13th, I weighed in at 148! Good start.

I am cutting back on my carbs. I went from eating whatever & whenever the hell I wanted to to 180 carbs per day, with 150 being optimal. It's not much, doesn't leave room for snacks. Sigh...but it's necessary.

I plan to drop to about 130 pounds by November. About 2 pounds a week.

I walk my street on Mon., Wed. and Fridays. As I get back into shape, I'll walk further.

Why am I doing this??? For me, for starters. I feel bloated & ugly. My clothes don't fit any more - I'm down to 2 pairs of shorts! It will benefit me healthwise as well. My diabetes, blood pressure & energy levels will benefit.

Secondly, we are having company in December from our friend from England. When she last visited, I was so out of shape I couldn't enjoy anything.

I will post weekly on Wednesday's with an update. Thanks for reading.

Say a prayer for us that "Hurricane" Fay doesn't hit us hard here in Florida.

See you again soon. D :)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Wednesday, 7-9-08


I am still around, but just not up to posting constantly. I really have nothing to say of late.

Thanks to Ann, Rebecca & DaBich for checking in on me! My friend Mee is moving, so I doubt computer time is available of late. Hope all goes smoothly for her!

What have I been up to? Not much. Let's start with the 4th. HonBun had off. Celebrations & activities all around us, but it was too hot & too crowded to even think about it. We stayed home.

Actually, today I'm SUPPOSED to go to the Vampires for lab work, but I don't feel like it - I'll go tomorrow. I must go out to visit the kitties at PetCo in the afternoon to spread the sugar on them!

I also need to go to Publix for supplies. Got a $5 coupon off a $30 purchase to use by Friday! Need to order more vegetarian bologna, too.

Hey - I also have to go to the bank to cash 2 checks for stamping class next week. Yea, the summer schedule is great for me, I love not having to go out 3 nights a month!

HonBun works this Saturday, but will have next Friday off for it. 7-18 IS OUR 21ST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!! We should "do" something, but what??? All I can think of is lunch or dinner out - maybe a movie???

My spirits are at a stable level again. I am in a good/decent place right now. Went thru a real bad time for a week or so the end of June. It's just I don't have the motivation to leave the house. It's also very hot this time of year, I hate to sweat! LOL It's an extra excuse for me. Being by myself for the day is difficult. I draw energy from the people around me. I'm fine once I get out. It's the "getting out" thats the problem.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. I'll check back in and see if anyone stopped by later in the week.

If you do stop by, Thanks! Have a marvelous week and be happy.

D :)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Friday 6-13-08

Egads! It's Friday the 13th!!! Bet the video stores will be crazed with teenagers looking for all those scary movies that happen this evening! LOL

I want to thank all of you that stopped by my last RANT and left me words of encouragement. It means so very much. I take for granted that cyber friends are still friends. Shame on me!

I am on an up swing of late. This is very good as I was down at the bottom of the barrel for quite some time. I am in a good mood, for starters.

I want to thank my daily challenge partner, "Mee", for helping get my butt in gear! Yay US!!

Just wanted you all to know that I'm doing much better since the RANT below. Thanks for your thoughts & prayers & hugs!

Diane :)

Monday, June 2, 2008

Monday, 6-2-08

Well, this "post" is actually gonna be a diary entry - as I have nothing else going on to talk about.

Musings & random recurring thoughts:

I am F A T. I need to re-start my 150 carb diet & my walking. Reading through my old entries, it appears to have helped my mood as well as my middle.

I HATE exercise, makes you sweat. Blah. It's hot now in Florida. I'd rather lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling for hours.

I know - "Go out early...." Still don't WANT to. I have had little motivation for anything since last year around July.

The current regime of meds tempers my eating. Most days I have a snack & the evening meal with the Hub's. Lots to drink. Who's gonna care if I have some peanut butter? It won't hurt THAT much. I'll be better tomorrow.

I need to go thru my drawers and the closet. So much I don't wear, so much I can't wear. I used to wear a size 14. Now I'm at least an 18. I hate myself.

I am soooo ugly when I look in the mirror - how can HonBun not see it?? He thinks I'm beautiful. He's been trying to convince me of it since forever. My boobs are WAAY too big for my height. My teeth are discolored form a childhood medication and they're crooked. I sweat like a man, even when i do nothing. I have little cushioning in the rear end. things only money can fix. Which we don't have.

The house is filthy, by MY standards. I just can't get my act together. The bathrooms are in desperate need. Oh, I DO clean the toilet and occasionally sweep the main bath, but MY bath - is awful! I HATE shower doors! ARGH!!!

The kitchen floor needs scrubbing, it's beyond mopping alone. I can't get the bug juice stains outta the counter top! ARGH!! Tea & raspberry rings. The fridge is dirty, again - bug juice stains on the shelving. The whole thing needs a good sorting to toss expired stuff.

There is a coat of dust everywhere! The ceiling fans need dusting - the kitchen one needs scrubbing! The whole house carpet needs cleaning. The foam cushion around the doors to the outside need to be redone.

I need to get rid of more stamping stuff. Yep - even that has gone sour on me. No ambition to create unless it's at Wednesday night class. I am still President of the club and coordinate all the meetings & announcements. I gotta keep myself "IN" something, or I'll retreat completely!

I also volunteer for a pet rescue group here & go twice a week to tidy up & pay attention to the kitties needing homes. They are usually so sweet. I joined this on purpose, to increase my out of the house time.

I am going from working Saturday's at the volunteer library to being on the substitution list. My health has been interfering with my participation. I have had to stay home several times in the past few months.

I try to read. My concentration is short, so by the time I finish the paper - I can't remember what I've read! It's agri-DAMN-vating! Can't focus on the small print in books, either. It's NOT my eyes.

My depression is medicated, but not controlled. I still feel like shit emotionally. Had to quit my therapy sessions as we can't afford it. Just when I was making progress, too. sigh.... I brood over this for hours a day, wondering - WHY?? So many drugs. None seem to work.

HonBun said he read an MSN article that stated scientifically speaking, anti-depressants work about as well as placebo on depression.
Oh, freaking great! There's actually a slim chance the drugs will work for you, it happens - like a miracle. Most of us don't get the results promised. Figures.

My steroids are the biggest culprit, besides my overall health status, as a cause of the depression. The side effects of each of my medications takes it's toll on me.


I'm not happy personally or with the current state of my marriage. I keep HonBun at bay. I have built walls to protect my guilt and bitterness. I want to let him in, but can't find the method to open up. This in itself causes me frustration and guilt.

Additionally, I can't physically satisfy my husband in sex either. Partly due to my illnesses and partly due to the medications I take for them. I am less than a whole woman.

It's not that I don't WANT to. I do, but again - the motivation creeps in and the issue of - well, I don't get anything out of it usually. It's a bit painful. Again the drugs and my aging health issues stand in the way of enjoyment.

HonBun doesn't want to make love to a grumpy can't-wait-to-get-it-OVER-WITH unsatisfied woman!

Maybe I don't try hard enough, or at all. Maybe I've just given up. Besides - he has non-physical relationships with others that are far more satisfying than ours. He doesn't need me. I just wash his socks and warm up dinner.

I KNOW!! Snap out of it! Drowning in pity for myself. Put together a plan and manage to stick with it. Don't make it too grandious or you'll quit too soon.

Not that easy. The motivation-less-ness appears again. It's like a pool of warm, cozy pit of tar. You WANT to move, 'cause you know it's a bad place, but WHY?? It's warm & comfy - maybe tomorrow, there's always a tomorrow. Who's gonna really notice if I don't?? Does anyone really care?

Why is it Hon & I have always been on the short end of the money equation?? How does the current morons in our government expect us to live on what we are making??? Prices are rising everyday, especially gas. Which in turn increases everything else's cost. He's not had a raise in 5 or 6 years!!! The minor cost of living increase I get from Social Security Disability each year is laughable! Not enough to buy one of my medications for a month. Big fat hairy deal!

Why is it that those that we elect to serve our interests always do the things that aren't beneficial for us?? What happens between campaigning and election?? It rots! Fire them all!! Our choices for the next President really SUCK! None of them are in touch with what is really going on in our country. We're damned generous to other countries in need, but we ignore the problem at home. Oh, no.....there's no poverty, homelessness or massive onslaught of elderly people in need in America! Tsk! Tsk on you for thinking so. We're the home of the free and the land of the brave.

We are barely making it through each month. My lousy little bit from SSD helps, but there's no way we'll ever get even - never mind ahead. The future looks very bleak to me. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing. it's gets worse by the month it seems. Things that need to be done, go undone. Some are important, but there's just no room for it.

I worry now about my Dad. Does he have enough for himself? He lives simply and has great insurance, but SHE can be demanding and selfish. What will happen if he gets very ill?? She is in poor health and wouldn't be able to handle it alone. We don't have the money or room for both of them at our house.

I am so in love with our little Vincent. I love all my babies, but this newest addition does something to my heart the other 2 can't. He connects with me. They all love us, but Vin loves more freely.

Vegetarian foods are SOOOO boring. Every try I make at up-ing the flavor bothers HonBun's stomach. I don't HAVE to eat them with HonBun - but it doesn't make sense to make 2 dinners every night. God - I would kill for meat sauce on my pasta - or a meatball!

My greatest fairy tale dream was bashed to smithereens by just this factor. Money issues and very poor planning on their part. Now I sit here in a house I don't feel for anymore. It's lost the home feel to it, because where we were going was so much more like home. The love was there. Now we're stuck here, far away from the ones that we love - the ones that need us.

I'm tired now. I'm gonna rest my brain for a bit before HonBun comes home from work.
I'll write more at another time.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Thursday, 5-29

Hello Again.

I am still around.

I have had a sabbatical of recent. Months worth.

I really never got back on an up swing after Blessing passed away. then, a medication change that went W A Y wrong. I am not at the bottom of the barrel, but I am not up beat anymore. I have been reading thru my older posts and damn, did I have energy! Wonder what went wrong?? I feel so very empty and down. I try very hard to accomplish stuff and it just doesn't get done.

We did, this month, get a new addition to our family. His name is Vincent. He is a LOVE!!! Here he is.

He loves Momma & Daddy and is getting along very well with Tucker. They play rough and love it! Punkin is still adjusting to the active little guy.

Vincent, Vin for short, loves to snuggle and curls up on me at night and in the afternoon, just before Daddy gets home from work.

Brian & I "celebrated" our "Almost 21 Years Anniversary" yesterday. We had 2 weddings. Our REAL date is 7-18-87, but we had another for the family on 5-28-88. It was an uneventful day, just the usual. Perhaps we'll go out this weekend for lunch.

that's it for now. I hafta get moving. Gotta go see the kitties being housed at our local PetCo for my volunteer job. I clean up & cuddle the kitties on Tuesday & Thursday afternoons for Pet Lovers Rescue. It keeps me active and gets me outta the house for a bit.

Thanks for checking in on me. Will post again within the week. Have a great day! D :)

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!! 3-1

Today, at 3:30 AM, I became 44 years old. Shame I can't go backwards from here. Some days I need it! LOL

Here's my "LOOT" for today!

Good Ol' Dad gave me money. His birthday is the 4th, I hope he gets his card on time. I got him a GC to his fav rib house!

Brian bought me this beautiful Murano Glass Heart Shaped Pendant from Italy! It's Stunning!

Rose bought me this figurine of my inner Wench! LOL Kitty Red Riding Hood, standing on the wolf!

Up close of Kitty Red. Ain't she SUMTHIN'?????

My sister, TC, sent me this. He reminds us of our Little Man Blessing, who passed away this January. Ain't he the cutest???

Calla Lilies from our garden.

Brian took this shot this AM of the Iris in our garden. He grows lovely florals.

I apologize for being SO absent of recent. Life has picked up recently & gotten much better. This is what is going on:

Tuesdays & Thursdays: I am volunteering with a group called "Pet Lovers Rescue" here in the Lady Lake area. They take in unwanted, found & abused animals (mostly cats) and foster them until they get adopted. There is an overflow of cats now and they have an agreement with our local PetCo to use the cage area at the front of the store to house extra animals.

I can visit from around 12:PM to 4PM. I check the food, water & litter. I clean up & love the babies while I'm there. I am loving this! This is such a wonderful non-profit group. They rely exclusively on donations, too. It's tough, our foster "parents" shell out a great deal of money to house our babies prior to adoption.

1st & 4th Thursdays: Paradise Stamping. I am just a member of this group. I have been so busy with The Fools, that I have yet to attend a meeting this year! I must make the effort to show up at the next one. They meet from 1:30 to 3:30PM.

1st, 3rd & 5th Wednesdays: Stampin' Fools. I am still President and am scheduling the classes for the rest of the year right now. I have from June to December to complete. I am also recruiting help for class nights. There are many things to be done and I cannot get it all done by myself. I need help with the raffle ticket sales, next class sign up & payment and accounting for the night's class monies.

I need to get this all accomplished before I can participate in the class. It's tough. Sometimes I have to skip the first project altogether.

Saturdays: Mark Twain Library. I volunteer from 10 A to 12 Noon. I shelve books, file cards and insert the cards into books for shelving. This is fun and I love the socialization.

While Dad is down for the winter months (Oct. to April), we go to tag sales, flea markets & rummage sales for fun. In Florida, there are flea markets for every day of the week!! We usually go for the whole day, from breakfast to post lunch - 6AM to 3PM! We also hit Thrift Stores along the way.

We are having 2 vacation visits this month!

Our friends from South Florida will be arriving the PM of 3-4! ACK - this week! They will be leaving 3-7 mid-day.

From 3-20 to 3-30, our friend who hosted us in England this past October, is coming HERE to visit us!!!

I have a Dr's appmt on 3-14 for my diabetes regular check up. I get my hair done on 3-18, I am going for a body wave, then in about a week - highlights!

I have counseling therapy weekly and I am doing well. We are trying something I have never done before. A family history. It is intense and enlightening. I must write it all down. It's really my emotional history, my life so far. I have MANY white elephants in my life. I need to be rid of them in order to function better.

Plus, there's the usual housekeeping to do and groceries to schedule.

Holy Cow!!! Am I busy enough NOW??? Don't think I'll have time to be depressed! LOL

I do believe, though, that the lengthening of the days as Spring/Summer approach has helped greatly. I am brighter and much more eager to get out and do things of recent.

Thank you for stopping by and reading up on my activities. I hope to post more oftern now that I have overcome the Winter Blahs.

Have a great day! Hugs & Smiles! D :)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Friday Funnies!

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his
sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying,
"Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself
a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began
searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as
a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source
of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came
to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus."

Hello Friends.

Thanks for continuing to stop by and check in on me.

I have been emotionally blank of late. I have been given some clarifying information about my depression.

I have 3 stages of depression. First, there is the Major Clinical Depression, which is being treated with drugs. This malady comes in stages. I am currently in a ditch with it. Next moth, I may not be so deep into it.

Second, is the constant low-grade depression. This is the "I know there's something wrong, but I don't know what it is" or the "I don't care, go away" stage. This needs to be treated with therapy. I need a mental attitude adjustment, how I recognize and deal with it. I have an appointment for next Friday. This has become a major stumbling block for me. It prevents me from answering the phone, leaving the house, taking my meds, eating, making cards, getting out of bed or doing chores. It's devastating.

Third, is the depression my body feels due to the illnesses I have and the drugs I must take to control them. Artificially created, not much can be done for this except for me to stay in good health.

My diabetes and kidney disease is well controlled, or was, as of January. I have been lax in my blood glucose testing of late.

I am so very grateful for all your thoughts for me. I have been a hibernating bear of late and your determination to keep me active in commenting is powerful.

I will check in later today to respond to your comments. I have the car today and have many chores to accomplish. I hope to be home for a rest late afternoon.

Enjoy the funnies! Hugs & Smiles! D :)